Almost.

Can you tell me
 
How can one miss what she's never had
 
How could I reminisce when there is no past
 
How could I have memories of being happy with you boy
 
Could someone tell me how can this be
 
How could my mind pull up incidents
 
Recall dates and times that never happened
 
How could we celebrate a love that's too late
 
And how could I really mean the words I'm bout to say...

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Almost... Almost... I wonder what we were?  How much did I mean to you?  Why did you have to hurt and leave her?  ... Why did I fall for you?
My questions will never be answered.  I will not risk what's left of us for what I want to know.  Where and whom you decide to be with will never be my decision.  "Not that you care," WELL my friend, I beg to differ.  As much as you accuse me of not caring, you're wrong.  Forever wrong about my thoughts about you.  I should be the one asking you that question; but I won't.  I don't have the right to do so.  Constantly, you invade my mind, but I instantly try to push you back out.  Why?  Because I don't know what to believe any more.  Your actions, or my inwardly warring duo of my heart and brain.  A little harsher?  

Frankly saying, you were a total jerk.  Though swaying back to the topic of 'it', I don't even know what came over me.  Oh pardon me, but did I just hear you roll your eyes?  I was relieved it wasn't some danged guy that I barely know.  What are you talking about?  

HAHAH, dear reader:
Stop being such a damn perv and think about what else is important to a girl, you insensitive clod. -______________-   

So I choose to wait here in the silence,
Quietly.

That first that I gave you... I'm glad.  Happy.  Content with the fact that it wasn't from someone else.  There was something clearly wrong at that moment but I didn't bother noticing it.  
Nine months have passed since that day.. and a year has passed since I have told you what was on my heart.  Never will I forget; even if we both find the one we were meant to be with someday.  Drastically speaking, 'carved into my heart'.  Because that's the type of person I am.  You will most definitely forget this once you leave; my name, the day, the reason... Not a thing, will I expect in return.  You've shown and took back too much.  Until that day you choose to depart, I will remain by your side; stopping to listen when needed, and conversing when life problems arise.  

The thoughts that run through my mind all side with your ex-.. *coughs STEADY.. Who do you take me for?  Some dumb-cluck that finds you right 24/7 even though I like you?  What.. WHAT IS THIS?!  Yo man, she doesn't even deserve you.  Oh the things I would do if I were a guy... starting with breaking one of your limbs to show you real pain.. .___. 

"She didn't care; it was hard for me."  Hard for me, my FOOT.  I swear, .. -turns- , Audience, if I told you what his reason was... You would be happy your spouse/girlfriend that is here today with you did NOT split from this mere so-called 'problem'. 


Though I miss you even when I'm standing next to you.. my foolish, foolish heart.  

Dear ex-who's name-I-do-not-know,

I wonder what you saw in him, because I don't see it either.  I feel sorry for you, girl.  How much did he take?  I'll return that double.  Plus interest.  Pray that you did not shed tears for this hopeless man.  'Led you on' , possibly, I'm sorry to say.  Same goes for me.  Who in the deepest, darkest depths of Tartarus takes action for nearly two years, and then decides to think.  When will he learn?  Gosh people, is it really that hard to grow up and find an actual interest in LIFE?  Anyways,  I feel bad for... y'know.  
Can't believe he left you because of... 'that'.  

Sincerely,

Victim #2.. (hopefully.  Add another zero to that 2 and I swear I'll hire someone to hunt him down... .____.)


"Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had... Never, almost.. had you..."


Current music: Almost - Jessica Jung (Tamia)